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Unorthodox

Herald of Arms, Edition 1

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The Herald of Arms is meant as an entertainment companion to the "Call to Arms" game being played on WPC. Any attempt to take it serious or run it through a spellchecker are considered hazardous to your health. If itching or burning should occur while reading, please discontinue use. If profuse bleeding occurs, please send picture, Uno likes that.

 

 

Stonehenge built!

Wonder of the world!

 

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Breaking news,

 

A new structure has been seen on in the lands of the Blackadder team. Rumors have abound of dark ritual to snake goddesses, or hidden military uses. Some have even claimed the Blackadders incapable of such things and hint at otherworldly assistance being granted to this mysterious team.

 

In a statement released to the Herald, the team claims. "We, Blackadders, like to lay on big blocks of heated by the sun stone in the summer and hide bellow them in the winter. We have made such big stone blocks and in our wisdom, we have positioned them in such a manner that by their shadows we know when it is time to lay on and when to lay bellow them."

 

Whatever the true purpose, it is clear that team Blackadders have surged ahead of the rest among the hearts and minds of the people as indicated by the most recent world rankings.

 

 

 

Buddhism Founded

Sign of Grindhouse/Viking cooperation?

 

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Team Grindhouse has founded the worlds first relgion, and it is spreading rapidly throughout the land.

 

"It's simple really. Lots of sitting and doing nothing to clear the mind" Beta claims. "You know, it was really a natural fit. Be lazy, suck.....the air in through the nose, out through the mouth..."

 

"We feel it's important to start with a clear sense of direction and unity" Kloreep adds. "Religion can provide that direction for our team, and if we get overrun by hordes as a result of this choice, you can make builder jokes. It's win-win."

 

However, rumors have spread throughout the land that it hints at an inter-team cooperation. It's no secret that team Viking has been receiving religious protection from some anonymous source, and free healing for their units. What is this pious source mysteriously healing Viking units?

 

To our knowledge, there is presently only one source of piety...

 

 

 

 

Bear attacks on the rise.

Teams finding ways to cope with bear pressence.

 

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Warnings are being issued throughout the world as bear attacks continue to climb.

 

"Mother******!!!" Final words of the Northern Alliance guide as our reporter sought to witness these bears, prior to leaving our reporter behind. Fortunately, they were kind enough to return for his notes and able to confirm their method of coping with bears is indeed sound.

 

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We still have not heard from our reporter sent to investigate the Grindhouse method.

 

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Team Blackadders would only comment that they had a plan.

 

"Yes, Sir, a plan so cunning, that you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel!" -2metraninja

 

Our investigation has revealed it is most disturbing indeed.

 

 

Meanwhile, team Viking has begun what is, in our opinion, a more practical approach.

 

 

 

 

"The Show" struggling.

Internal fighting to scuttle team?

 

The ET and Rhoth "show" has gotten off to a rocky start with bickering dominating discussion. Late Tuesday evening, police responded to domestic disturbance reports in the team threads, and were horrified by the scene before them.

 

Hey Rhoth, :slap:

 

This soon escalated into an all out war.

 

 

Can this team mend their differences and work together? We will all have to wait and see.

 

 

 

Baker's Corner

With Zoid.

 

 

 

 

Viking Bows being recalled

Previous flaw corrected by master bowyer.

 

The [ACtA] Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed. It is illegal to resell or attempt to resell a recalled consumer product.

 

Name of Product: "Ragnarok" Bows.

 

Units: classified

 

Manufacturer: Team Viking

 

Hazard: The ends of the bow's limbs can unexpectedly break during use and send fragments of the bow in the direction of the user or bystanders, posing a risk of injury.

 

Incidents/Injuries: The team has received 255 reports of the bow's limbs breaking, including 11 reports of lacerations, abrasions, or contusions when pieces from the breaking bow struck the user.

 

Description: This recall involves the "Ragnarok" bows hunting and target models with draw weights of 60 and 70 pounds that do not have a collet in the limb. The bows measure about 31 inches long and have draw lengths of 26-30 inches. Hunting models were sold in camouflage patterns; target models were sold in gray, black, and wood-grain. The bows have laminated wood grips engraved with the word "BowTech" and a label with "Ragnarok" on the center pivot point of the bottom limb.

 

Sold at: Authorized Viking Bow Dealers worldwide from September 4000 BC through July 2480 BC.

 

Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled bows and contact their dealer to schedule a free repair. Viking Bowyers are on currently constructing much stronger bows that should increase damage and durability.

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:lol:

 

As ever, priceless!

 

:b:

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Great as always UnO! :b::D

 

"Mother******!!!" Final words of the Northern Alliance guide as our reporter sought to witness these bears, prior to leaving our reporter behind.

 

:lol:

 

Internal fighting to scuttle team?

 

The ET and Rhoth "show" has gotten off to a rocky start with bickering dominating discussion. Late Tuesday evening, police responded to domestic disturbance reports in the team threads, and were horrified by the scene before them.

 

This soon escalated into an all out war.

 

 

Can this team mend their differences and work together? We will all have to wait and see.

 

When E_T's body is finally found it will likely have a tape recorder with a continuous loop of muttered words: "Damn Rhoth and Damn Skycrack" :cute:

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:lol: :b:

 

Thanks for your efforts and creativity Uno!!!

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What's Skycrack?

 

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. It's an immersive RPG game.

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The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. It's an immersive addictive RPG game.

 

Corrected your post... :cute:

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Awesome job Uno! I had a good laugh and the people in the hostel probably thought I was crazy :)

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This has been very entertaining even if I have only a vague idea of the players, teams, and subtext.

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:lol: :b:

 

This has been very entertaining even if I have only a vague idea of the players, teams, and subtext.

 

Check out the team threads if you want. They're all here in the public forum, free for anyone who's not playing to look at. :)

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I guess the updates are waiting on the server?

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Any sign of a second edition good sir? I'm sure there has been a lot going on around the world.......

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