Buster's Uncle

Cheer me up...

749 posts in this topic

It's almost upon us, in fact. That is a fine thing to contemplate...

Share this post


Link to post

Great work on the leaderhead picture in Evil Empire, BU !:bb:

You totally rule! :1st:

Share this post


Link to post

..take a break from the weights.......i mean you were complaining about feeling tired!

 

Go out and smell whatever early spring blossom you can find(the weights will still be there when you get back) :)

 

.....and yes you probably do need a women. Philosophy, religion - all that Jazz has it's place. But we all need a yin to our yang(or vice-versa), and you are never too old to keep looking.

 

That spring blossom can be right around the corner and you might never know it is there without going out to look. But dont 'hunt' for it - those times rarely amount to more than a brief fling in my experience, and needy can turn someone off pretty quick.

 

Just be yourself(unless you are a serial killer type), be normal, go find something different to do and have some fun with it and the blossom you might want to find may come to you.

 

But somehow i feel a bit of a cheat giving this kind of advice, i do mean it sincerely and i feel it has some merit, but in truth i've lucked out on the old love game more than once and somehow i've always had that side of life easy, even when it was difficult - i knew it would work out.

 

And remember that there are more women in the world than men, imagine how it must feel to be a lonely women - knowing you got to fight over a man(statisticly)! So you have the advantage in that........and soon(ish) a chest mountain one lucky lady gets to climb all over ;)

 

Be happy BU - it's much less hard work than being down :D

 

btw i did use the 'blossom' metaphor to mean a women, but originally i really did mean it as a flowering plant - nature is the great consoler of the soul.

Share this post


Link to post

It's a thing that will happen or not when the universe wills it. There are certainly steps I can take, but I've yet to master uncoupling the trying from the desiring- and in this one, I am very much with the Buddha. Desire causes pain.

 

It's my life and I have to ask you to trust me on this as the only expert in me. It's a thing to keep working on.

Share this post


Link to post
Mostly we need human contact over the virtual.

 

We are monkeys(sorry religious doctrine types!), more comfortable with scratching our arses and grooming one another than trying to worry our way around mortgage repayments and filling out our tax forms.

 

Go be yourself, dont be afraid. Find your inner monkey. ;)

You know a lot of my thing? The grooming behavior. I need the grooming behavior.

 

In RL, I must give off this aggression pheromone or something. People have always made this assumption about me that I'm after- well, sex. I mean, sure I am, in part, but there's so much more to it than that.

 

I want someone to hold hands with. I want someone to hold and be held by. I want someone to look after who will look after me. I want to love and be loved; the whole package. Not just anyone, either.

 

Something happened earlier this year that got to me, that has had me thinking about women at a stage in my life where it's no good to. I'm not ready to dive back in just yet.

 

It is fundamentally offensive to me that in RL people openly accuse me of just wanting to get laid. It is offensive that I get that crap just for being friendly. I can't frankly admire someone in peace, even online, where it's not really real. It's insulting, it is. I am a gentleman, albeit one with a perverse sense of humor, and screw everyone who assumes differently.

 

I'd, honest-to-God, trade all future sex for all the foreplay I wanted from here on out. And y'all would hear a lot less of me for the rest of my life.

 

But all that wanders far from my true point, which is about the grooming behavior. We are hopped-up apes, and we all have a need to get our fleas picked from time to time. It's not really a lot more complex than that.

Share this post


Link to post

Foreplay may be fun - but sex is most excellent.

 

:nod:

Share this post


Link to post
It's a thing that will happen or not when the universe wills it. There are certainly steps I can take' date=' but I've yet to master uncoupling the [i']trying [/i]from the desiring- and in this one, I am very much with the Buddha. Desire causes pain.

 

It's my life and I have to ask you to trust me on this as the only expert in me. It's a thing to keep working on.

 

I trust you - i know you KNOW. All my feeble attempts at getting to the nub of your unease are just that. But you have to have faith, because each day is a test of ourselves, whom we are, and not just in the purely material human being way. We are the universe and the universe is us. Why we are here right now, doing what we do, is anybodys guess. But that Sun that warms us on a chilly morning, those stars we see in the brilliant sky - we are exactly the same, made of the same, heading in the same direction.

 

It's easy to fall to entropy, and 'evil', the dark side, the rime giants, anti-life etc.

Look around - you can see it everywhere, where men and women who have lost sight of who and what they are, what they can be and where they really belong.

So those few of us that have the insight also have the burdon, but it's a burdon i personaly will never feel anything other than blessed for having. And it is so tempory - 60, 70, 80 years? What is that compared to the matter(mine and yours), to the life in this universe?

 

Sometimes it isnt easy, sometimes knowing that we are all unified, all one, but at the same time having to be alone(for whatever reason) feels like a very personal special kind of punishment. But you know what? It is just a stage, a lesson of this life, for whatever reason. If you dont want to be alone, you dont have to be, but you do have to work at it, and perfection is a myth, so dont seek it out(in yourself or in others).

The universe has never been perfect(infact it's mostly been violently chaotic in short bursts followed by eons of stillness), it is seeking it's 'balance', just as we are in this life.

 

But Buddha is indeed wise when he says desire causes pain, but be aware that is not an exclusive statement. It's ok to want, to need, it's a fundemental principle of the mechanics of the universe, but to let desire control you completely - that is what leads to the pain, to the dis-harmony and disfunction(individualy or as a society).

 

Your 'answer' is very easy BU, you know it - you just got to find that faith again and be honest, be yourself, get out there and see if you can find a match. And dont work out sooo much that you fall asleep during conversation ;)

Share this post


Link to post

You know, it is my nature to go to extremes in everything. I come by an enthusiastic nature quite honestly on my Dad's side.

 

It is my hard-won philosophy to seek balance. We are are in a culture that much more often than not portrays extremes and absolutes as something admirable, when in practice, they're almost always crap. Ever seen Cool Hand Luke? Luke lived just up the road from my George Kennedy when we were kids- he wouldn't learn that he couldn't take me, kept picking fights and never surrendering. Did the same thing to my brother when I wasn't there. Did we admire and respect his gutsy, never-say-die attitude in the end? Heck no, we despised him for forcing us to beat him up - over and over and over. Just talking about it makes me want to walk over to his house 30 years later and give 'im a few more.

 

No, balance is better. I'm fiddling with the slider bar between "needs people" and "self-contained". It's clear that setting it all the way in one direction or the other would be a real bad idea.

Share this post


Link to post

BTW; the first day I did my back routine, I could barely squeeze into my weight belt. Last notch. Yesterday? Forth notch.

 

-Somewhere in the mix is my appetite going south on me. I don't understand exactly how the two interact to produce such a dramatic effect so far ahead of schedule, and I'm certainly not complaining about that, but I have to say that the appetite business is a very bad sign...

 

Still, it's not the dept of the funk, but how soon I can pull myself out of it that matters in the long run. When I stop wanting to clean my plate, I'm in a very, very, very bad way; but I'm taking positive steps and I'm going to beat this.

Share this post


Link to post

So I'm balancing Cid's advice to rest with my need to know I did it. I just made my decision for the day. What tipped the balance?

 

I want that bubble bath right now, not two hours from now after a workout. I'm going to go do it now.

 

I've earned it.

Share this post


Link to post
Foreplay may be fun - but sex is most excellent.

 

:nod:

Yeah, there's not denying that.

 

My happiness with the deal wouldn't be exactly be perfect; that's one heck of a thing to give up forever. But you know, I could somehow manage an occasional orgasm anyway, and I'd be getting a bumper crop of something I need, maybe, a lot more.

 

I mean, I hope the deal wouldn't entirely preclude a little cuddling and conversation. Sue me; I'm a hopeless romantic. Being held is most excellent.

 

So are hot baths.

Share this post


Link to post

You seem a good sort BU :)

 

Dont over analyize your situation, just BE and DO. Just the simple act of 'doing' is a true spirit lifter :b:

 

I have a very intelligent buddy(could have been a doctor(did 2 years no problem), could have been a professor at a uni, could have been a scientist), and he has always struggled with depressions. Even someone like myself with very average intelligence can get bummed by what goes on around us in this life. The Devil is in the detail; when he suffered the worst was when he over analyized things, especialy his life(love, money, parental expectations etc).

 

So he developed a 'doing' philosophy, when he got blue he wouldn't think himself into a stew - he would just get on and do something, often practical, with his hands like build a circuit board to produce a pedal effect for his guitar etc. The act of doing helped him become more productive and generaly more positive about life.

 

Now reflection is also important, we need to think deep to get to the root of what is bothering us, but dont over do it is all i'd advise.

 

Keep it up and you'll get through this patch i'm sure - blue skies are just around the corner :)

Share this post


Link to post

I think too much, yeah. I know that.

 

I'll note that this thread is full of examples of me discussing positive action and and elements of my problems that are addressable by me. I'm trying to channel my over thinking nature along productive lines, There's actually more of that than talk of root causes, though I certainly want to get at those as a prophylactic measure for the future.

 

My mood is going back and forth according to factors trivial and mysterious alike; yesterday was tepid and not too far off normal, Sunday night and Monday morning was very bad, and I had a number of actual good days last week. It's not a thing I have under conscious control, much, but would surely like to.

 

I wonder if the time has come to stop sharing; I don't want to suffer in silence and alone, but I've clearly pretty much burned everyone out on this but you, Cid. I think I need to save it for times of greatest need.

 

At the heart of your friend's actions is a need for distraction; I'm certainly seeking that. I did a cute little art project last night and I need to work at clearing off my build queue while things are slow in the sub forums I favor. :nod: Bear with me, please; I'm gonna beat this thing.

Share this post


Link to post

well i hope you know that even in this cold place called internet there are actualy people who do give a monkies how you might be feeling BU.

 

Some will have been there also, some as you say may find it a tough slog and get burnt out on the way, and some might just be wary to not want to say the wrong thing, but the heart is there in all of us even the cold of heart(they might not know it is all).

 

So dont worry be happy as the song goes, find a local knitting group ;)

Share this post


Link to post

I did my exercise and bath on schedule today, (and I just took a walk, Nugog). My body doesn't feel exactly chipper and unsore, but is definitely not ungrateful for the day off yesterday.

 

Something I've been waiting for came in the mail, and I'm heading for Texas and my break-of-rut Saturday morning, should nothing come up.

 

 

 

...I'd never had a nosebleed in my life until a spontaneous one on a Summer afternoon when I was 12. For years afterward, I'd get them for no reason. One day in the sixth grade, I got a gusher while I was sitting in class. The teacher sent me out of the room to recover, and apparently I failed to cover adequately, because I was hearing a lot of "Ewww." Well you know? That yanked my chain; I was the one bleeding, not by choice and not enjoying it, and it wasn't for their benefit. I didn't deserve to get piled-on. I dropped my hands and grossed out the whole room on my way out.

 

Being depressed is a little like that. I wish there was a way to conceal and make it no one's problem but mine. People wish they knew how to help, but I can't expect much patience. I have to cover up as much as I can when I can. It's ultimately my problem- I'd like a hand-up/hands-to-hold to ease me over the hump, but I have to do all the walking whether I get help or not.

 

[shrugs] The maximal strategy for my continued popularity, frankly, is to pretend it's not going on. (I do that a fair bit of the time, when it's not as serious.) Almost everyone strongly prefers bouncy, fun Uncle. That's a sad, but true fact, of human nature.

 

I'm going to beat this -with or without help.

Share this post


Link to post

I wouldn't worry about popularity, rather I would prefer honesty. You won't do yourself any good worrying about Others feelings if you don't feel good about you. Maybe some people may not like to face the fact that people around them have ups and downs, but I hope that most people here want to accept you as opposed to a fabricated personality. We all have our good days and bad, but we are all in it together. And for the people who sit back and "Ewww", who cares what they feel since they aren't willing to support others.

Share this post


Link to post

I have to find the right balance between caring what people think -which heads off a good deal of possible bad/callous behavior on my part- and being totally self-contained.

 

Consider what a larger-than-life personality I am here.

 

Add in that I am a physically large person in real life. Add in that my voice carries like you wouldn't believe. I have to cultivate careful habits in my behavior or things get broken; I want to do no harm in life, so I need to be sensitive to people's reactions. And I want to get along with the shallow people, too; they may not have my back every time I need them, but they aren't useless to me.

 

Further, consider this; I managed to take a joke too far for ALI without meaning to- here on the innerwebs, where it's safe and no one's intimidated by my physical presence. Now think about her sense of humor; that's not a trivial measure of the evil powers I have to keep in check.

 

I have to care what people think, no matter what Maniac or anyone else says. I want to do no harm.

Share this post


Link to post

Hi. (I just did a forum search on my nick :cute: )

 

Are you refering to something I said months ago?

 

Anyway, my response to the chess club issue would be "screw those people" or "screw people in general". But of course I know that comment is of no use to you, as there are probably few people who have less need for social contact than I have.

Share this post


Link to post

My need is not trivial. Maniac, you're a bud, and you're not the only one to tell me the same thing, and you're right- as far as it goes. You've told me not to care what people think a number of times.

 

It's tough to be sensitive to people's reactions, a thing I've explained the necessity of me being, and not let it affect my self-esteem. I'm fiddling with the slider on that right now, because the latter had been getting to me lately without being effective enough for the former.

 

I love my chess cronies anyway, but a lot of these issues I've warned them about a million times. In short, I have to aknowledge that sometimes, it shouldn't all be on me, and screw 'em if they won't cooperate.

Share this post


Link to post
I have to find the right balance between caring what people think -which heads off a good deal of possible bad/callous behavior on my part- and being totally self-contained.

 

Consider what a larger-than-life personality I am here.

 

Add in that I am a physically large person in real life. Add in that my voice carries like you wouldn't believe. I have to cultivate careful habits in my behavior or things get broken; I want to do no harm in life' date=' so I need to be sensitive to people's reactions. And I want to get along with the shallow people, too; they may not have my back every time I need them, but they aren't useless to me.

 

Further, consider this; I managed to take a joke too far for ALI without meaning to- here on the innerwebs, where it's safe and no one's intimidated by my physical presence. Now [i']think[/i] about her sense of humor; that's not a trivial measure of the evil powers I have to keep in check.

 

I have to care what people think, no matter what Maniac or anyone else says. I want to do no harm.

 

I agree with your point about not wanting to do harm to people; but not to the extreme of caring of the people who will never have your back.

 

In RL, I have many personality characteristics that are opposite of yours. Physically small person and I am typically perceived as a quiet and focused person who is easy to get along with (and dumped upon). So to a certain extent, I have had to keep the 'evil powers' of Others in check and disappoint/harm them on occasion to maintain myself. I also do try to consider what others think and I will go to my limits in helping others that do appreciate the help that I can give, but at the end of the day there is only so much good Karma to go around. I save it for the people that I consider to be worthy of the Good.

Share this post


Link to post

Some times caring too much of what other people think can be just as much of an imposition as caring too little. Balance is indeed key.

Share this post


Link to post

Balance is the key to nearly everything done right in life.

 

This thread is turning into The World According To Buncle.

Share this post


Link to post
I agree with your point about not wanting to do harm to people; but not to the extreme of caring of the people who will never have your back.

 

In RL, I have many personality characteristics that are opposite of yours. Physically small person and I am typically perceived as a quiet and focused person who is easy to get along with (and dumped upon). So to a certain extent, I have had to keep the 'evil powers' of Others in check and disappoint/harm them on occasion to maintain myself. I also do try to consider what others think and I will go to my limits in helping others that do appreciate the help that I can give, but at the end of the day there is only so much good Karma to go around. I save it for the people that I consider to be worthy of the Good.

Add in that I have massive anger issues and a distinct talent for violence. As an ethical being, it is difficult to let my instincts and self interest out to play. I've gotten better at throwing an occasional elbow without it getting out of hand, but it's probably always going to be tricky for me. I've tended to err in the direction of taking it all on myself. A certain amount of that is wise, 'cause I can take a lot, and I really want to do the right thing and be positive.

 

Why do you people I want to talk to most always get active right before Mama calls supper, BTW?

Share this post


Link to post

Because we're getting home from work? :)

 

Share her recipes in the recipe thread! Share the good stuff!

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now