War and Beer - Tales of the Sithrigi Dynasty (CK2 AAR)

[Rhoth]

The Year 1093, continued

Murchad came back from Rome and I cooled off a bit. I wasn't really all that mad at him since it meant that I could get started on teaching Duke Domnall a lesson for having me excommunicated. Another plus...make-up sex.




I decided to have my spymaster go check on our old friend the Duke of Galloway, but he apparently died with no issue a while back. I never figured out whether his claim was true, like the ones I have for Dublin and Breifne, or falsified, but I'm guess the latter. Scotland as a whole is a mess right now. Multiple duchies, multiple wars. At least they are leaving me alone so I can concentrate on my own affairs.




My plans are proceeding apace, but I'm starting to get very antsy. Maybe it's the pregnancy, but I can really feel my blood boiling in anticipation again. It's time...time to take what is rightfully mine and teach the coward Duke Domnall a lesson. I call in favors from my allies, but Murchad's father declines to help. Luckily Cuthbert of York is still around to lend his aid.




The Year 1094

My troops marched out toward Dublin in perfect lockstep. I couldn't be prouder of my fine Ulster levies. Within weeks my marshal notified me that the main force of Duke Domnall had been smashed and they were laying siege to Dublin. I was so excited that my son Fiachnae practically popped right out. Murchad would be well pleased to have a son, and I certainly was too, though I can't help wondering if it might be better to pass the succession on to my eldest child Condal, even though she's female. After all, I'm female and I'm certainly doing pretty well for myself.




Domnall proved a coward, as I knew he would when faced with the might of Ulster. Dublin was now mine. My duchy has grown considerably since I came to power, but there is more work to do. At night I start to dream about becoming the ruler over all of Ireland, not just Ulster. The thought is greatly satisfying.

[Rhoth]

The Year 1095

The earl of Breifne is trying to usurp my new title in Dublin. I heard a story from one of the older courtier about what happened when someone tried to do the same thing to my father. No one ever heard from the offending person after that, and no one else ever tried it again. I'm almost surprised they waited this long to try me, but I pull a trick from my father and somehow he just "goes away".




It has only been a year since Fiachnae was born, but I can feel my blood boiling once more. Murchad is a nightly visitor and the result is soon paid out. That's three in four years dad.




My pregnancy continues apace for the requisite nine months, but there must be something about my pregnancies. Every time I'm pregnant I feel a powerful urge to go to war with someone. I wonder if that is some medical condition, not that I'm going to ask the local leeches. In any case it is time to teach the earl of Breifne a lesson for trying to usurp my title. Ulster heads to war once more and amidst news of stunning victories my son Fingen is born. Now I wonder if there is some correlation between being at war and the gender of my children. Condal wasn't born during a war, but both of my boys were. Perhaps I'm on to something here.




The Year 1096

The news from the Pope is not good. He lost his crusade against the infidels somewhere not near Ireland. I suppose I should have actually sent some men, but really I had no intention of ever sending men to die for someone other than me.




Months have passed since the beginning of the war with Breifne and the war is well in hand. Breifne called in the Duke of Dehubarth to help him, but that duke's aid proved to be nothing in the face of Cuthbert of York. Breifne's armies have been utterly crushed and our forces are banging on the gates.





The Year 1097

A few days into the new year and Breifne is mine. My men fought valiantly and they deserve a great reward for their efforts.




One quick look at my lands now. Hard to believe that just a few short years ago I only had one backward county to my name. Now I'm a duchess and my holdings include four counties and one vassal who calls me liege. I kind of like that title, but I have my eyes on another one...a greater one.

[Penry]

Pop, pop, pop...... keep popping those brats out mi lady!

With luck you could be the Queen of Ireland, with one brat for each county!

[BigDork]

Good job Rhoth. Of course your Duchess seems to have some daddy issues.

[Rhoth]

The Year 1098

Early in the year I finally decide that I can't abide the fact that my daughter Condal will not have the same opportunity to rule Ulster as I have. Just because she is female she will be passed over in favor of my sons. I don't have anything against my sons of course, but why shouldn't she rule when I'm gone? I set about changing the laws of succession so that from now on I and any of my descendants can choose their own successor. I hand out a couple of meaningless titles to some of my recalcitrant vassals and manage to persuade them all to accept an elective republic.

I also take a personal hand in Condal's education. If she is going to succeed me as ruler of Ulster I want her to be as prepared as possible.

A few months pass when my chancellor brings back excellent news. He has been poring over the documents in Leinster and came across an old document that proves that the county should be mine instead of Gilla-Iosa, the rat bastard. My chancellor has certainly performed his duties well and I send him off to





The Year 1099

As the new century approaches I decide to hold off on attacking the Rat Bastard of Meath and instead do some housecleaning in my backyard. The earl of Tyrconnell has been a minor thorn in my side and it is time that his county is brought into the Ulster fold. I decide that Earl Aedan has been a decent vassal for all that he was once a ruler and not a vassal, and he deserves more territory. Unfortunately the good earl has made an alliance that I didn't know he had...one that could easily prove to be my downfall if I'm not careful. How in the world did a minor earl of nowhere make an alliance with the mighty King of England anyway?

[author's note] I probably should have hung on to Tyrconnell myself, but I was still very new to the game and saw a way to bring Tyrconnell up to 100 in liking me. Now...I'd probably do it differently, especially so early in the game. I can always hand it back out later if I don't want it, but I was still three counties away from my stewardship limit at the time so I had room to keep it for a while. [/author's note]




The Year 1100

The war with Tyrconnell proceeds apace. No sign of the King of England yet, which is good. I take time from the war to continue teaching Condal about the positive aspects of rulership. Even heathens have a place in this world.




I am able to spend a bit of time with my husband while back in Ulster to teach Condal. As usual my enjoyment of war sets my blood boiling and I soon find myself pregnant yet again. There is definitely something about the bloody conquest of others that makes me randy.




The Year 1101

WAR! It is what I live for. As my pregnancy progresses I urge my armies on to greater heights and they prove themselves by successfully sieging Tyrconnell's castle. I can just taste the sweet aroma of victory on the horizon. I still remain wary of England though and keep a reserve of cash in hand to quickly hire trusty Cuthbert. I may love war, but I'm not stupid.




A couple months more and my forces continue to siege Tyrconnell. My husband and I welcome our newest addition to the family, Una.




And finally the siege is complete. Earl Aed of Tyrconnell agrees to hand over his county to me...just as the King of England drops over 4,000 men on the doorstep of Ulster. Thankfully I was able to intercept the King's message that he finally made it to Ireland, before the earl could read it and decide to continue the fight. Even Cuthbert wouldn't have been much use against that many men.

Better late than never for the King of England I guess, but I'm glad he was late rather than early.

[author's note] Holy crap that was close. [/author's note]




Earl Aedan is very happy with me now. The English levies have left Ireland and all is well once more.

[Rhoth]

The Year 1101 continued

With the war with Tyrconnell finished and our close call with England hanging over my head I decide to wait on any wars for a while and start a campaign of improvement in my lands. Without a pressing need to keep my gold in reserve to hire Cuthbert I shell out most of it to build guild halls in Ulster and Oriel. If I can start improving the profits of my merchants then naturally my tax base will increase and some of that money will start flowing back into my coffers. It might take a while to see a true profit, but as far as I'm concerned I have time.

I catch Condal climbing outside the tower in Ulster. Good for her. I'm not hosting any nobles with aspirations of bedding their sisters and throwing anyone who sees them out a tower window after all.

[author's note] That is from Game of Thrones (both the book and the HBO series) if anyone was questioning it. Also, would anyone actually ever pick "teach her a lesson" to someone they are tutoring? Yeesh, maimed, maybe even death. That's a bit harsh. Considering that for the most part when your ruler is tutoring someone it is an heir or the spare that is doubly weird to have as an option. [/author's note]




The Year 1102

There is no war going on, and none on the horizon, yet I become pregnant again? This is disturbing. Throughout the pregnancy I wonder if this may be a problem, but I can't bring myself to go to war when we are not ready.




The Year 1103

The fact that I'm not at war gets the best of me and I bring my advisors together to discuss coercing the Duke of Connacht to attack us. A nice defensive war might be just the ticket to make sure that my next child comes out on the right foot, so to speak. My steward and chancellor start spreading money around like crazy until all of the various nobles of the land accept the fact that I am the true Duchess of Connacht. Alas, that doesn't provide enough cause for the former duke to attack so we just sit tight.




It is so hot this Summer. I can barely stand the last few months of my pregnancy. I have kind of a bad feeling about this child. I can't tell you what it is that makes me so apprehensive about his future, but I can't deny my feelings.




The Year 1104

I'm so disturbed by thoughts of my previous child's future that I invite my husband to try to make another baby to wash out the bad feelings about my previous child.

[author's note] Wow, this woman is very, very prodigious with the children. [/author's note]




I'm determined that this time my pregnancy will occur while I'm at war. The former duke of Connacht is still out there, but the Rat Bastard of Meath is still out there and my truce with him is about to end. I count the days to the end of our truce, and the very day it ends I declare war on him to stake my claim to the county of Leinster.




Despite calling in a favor with the count of Connacht, Meath's army proves no match for my superbly trained forces and we quickly wade through his army to the very doorsteps of his Leighlin Castle to begin our siege. We absolutely stomped both opposing forces with little loss of our own forces. While out on the battlefield my son Faelan is born, and this time I know that this baby will prove to have a good future. Am I a little bit psychic? Maybe, but I still can't shake the feeling that Gilla-Coluim will have a short life. I pull away from him a little bit because of that, something I'm not very proud of.




The Year 1105

Condal is proving to be such a delightful child. I'm so very pleased that I was able to force through a change in the succession laws so that she can become my heir.

[author's note] Sometimes when I tutor someone I get a lot of bad traits that I have to attempt to get rid of. With Condal it was almost always good traits that came up, which pleased me. At age 12 she already has an 18 in diplomacy. At the time I thought diplomacy was the most important trait for a ruler. I still think it is important but now that I've played a bit more I realize that stewardship provides a more concrete bonus because it directly affects the number of counties you can control personally. There are a lot more ways to boost diplomacy than stewardship though. [/author's note]






By now I had started tutoring my eldest son Fiachnae as in these times it is always good to have an heir and a spare. Fiachnae was not quite as gifted as Condal but he was turning out okay. He is certainly honest like me. I always speak my mind, and being a bit of an overweight foodie type myself (my vassals nicknamed me Mauda the Fat, but I can't fault them for it), I can certainly tell some courtier when she is fat.

Meanwhile the siege of Leighlin Castle is almost finished. It won't be very long before the Rat Bastard is put in his place and Leinster is mine in fact as well as in name.




The Siege of Leighlin was over, and with it went any fight the Rat Bastard still possessed. My forces had just barely started to siege his bishopric when word came down that he had decided there was no way he could win and he preferred to retire from the field to his only remaining county with a little bit of dignity still intact. Victory was mine!

[Rhoth]

The Year 1105, continued

Following the war for Leinster I settle back in to my regular routine until one day my chancellor approaches and casually mentions that we hold enough territory that we could consider declaring me as Queen of Ireland. Queen! Alas we don't have nearly enough money right now for all the bribes and banns it would take to truly declare myself queen, but the idea has taken hold of me. It stirs my blood almost as much as war does, with predictable results. For a fat chick I can really get it going.




Nine months later we have another daughter. I name her Mauda after myself. I'm starting to get up there in childbearing years and begin to wonder if Mauda may be my last child. We'll see.




The Year 1108

The years pass quickly as I try to save up enough money to proclaim myself Queen of Ireland. I've become a bit of a spendthrift and I think that may be rubbing off on Condal as well. She has taken quite an interest in money matters.

As we begin to approach the minimum amount of money my chancellor says it will take for all the bribes, disaster strikes. Though Ulster is within spitting distance of Scotland I've never had a problem with the King of Scotland, until now. I don't even know why he decided to attack me. Perhaps he heard I was trying to become Queen of Ireland and decided he didn't want to hobnob with a woman at the royal mixers.




At first the King of Scotland doesn't appear anxious to attack me so I left my levies in alert mode, but idle. I begin to wonder if his heart wasn't really in it (and also begin to contemplate hiring someone to remove said heart). Then I find out why. Within a month or two I see a very large Scottish army, trained in secret where my spies couldn't see it, bearing down on Ulster. Within a few days they would cross the sea and attack.

I'm horrified at the size of his army, nearly double my own. I have no choice but to use most of the money I'd been saving to purchase the Queenship to hire mercenaries. My old friend Cuthbert of York had apparently passed on so I had no choice but to hire some mercenaries known as the Breton Band and the Saxon Band. French mercenaries are so dirty. Do they ever take showers? I hope that the coming battle with Scotland will pass quickly if for nothing else so that these smelly mercenaries can go home and take their stink with them. I begin to wonder if maybe after all these years I'm losing my lust for battle. I invite Murchad to my bedchamber, but there is just no zip in it anymore. My blood isn't boiling in anticipation anymore. I mourn the loss as I prepare to be invaded.




Despite their stink the two mercenary groups do their duty and the Scottish attack is blunted and turned away. Within months the King of Scotland is suing for peace. I manage to snag a bit of gold from him to replace at least some of the money I had to pay the mercenaries. But it looks like my dreams of becoming queen may have to be put off just a bit longer.

[author's note] For some reason I didn't take any screenshots of the war, except for the two above, nor did I write anything down about it. I can't remember much about the war now, except that I won it through superior numbers from the two merc bands and then started sieging Scotland until he gave up. [\author's note]